did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
