We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
