D3 body, D1 cock
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
