What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
