My room smells like vodka and shame
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
