I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
