god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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