already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
