just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
