i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Houston, we have a blender
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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