I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
