Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This is the high leading the old right now
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
