Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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