he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Send help, water and tortillas.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
