Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
