plz talk dirty to me
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
