It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
