Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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