Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
