Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
