Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
