You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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