if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Pants are for mortals
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
