They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
