i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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