We're facebook friends in real life
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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