I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
