You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
