I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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