some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I will pee on everything he values.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
