My sheets look like a crime scene.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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