Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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