Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
