Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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