spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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