She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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