Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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