i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's like heaven, but drunker
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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