marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
