she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
