Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
