I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
