Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
