I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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