Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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