that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
