His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
