So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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