"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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