You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
