Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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