we're blogging at a bar
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
