chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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