SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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