sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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