I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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