I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
